“Cops Bust Drunken Werewolf in Ohio”

Residents of Gallipolis were stunned yesterday when the owner of Alonzo Volen’s bar turned into a wolf after imbibing his own liquor. Police were summoned after the animal attacked several people, three of whom are now hospitalized with non-life-threatening injuries. A police investigation discovered that Volen’s whiskey, billed as imported from Germany, was actually moonshine. Mr. Volen was not available for comment.

Christie Powell

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The 911 operator could not believe her caller.

“There is a werewolf running loose in town and it appears to be drunk”.

Now I had to notify the cops, and they thought I was funning them.  I could not blame them as I had thought the same myself.

However, being the good guys that they were, they went werewolf hunting in the outskirts of our Ohio city.  Low and behold by the light of the full moon they did see a wolf staggering around the woods in the park.  They managed to net him and hauled him into the station house.  They were getting prepared to call the Animal control officer, when the wolf woke up, sloughed off his fur and became the local mailman.  Everybody knew him and had a hard time believing what they saw.  Since his blood alcohol was still high they arrested him for being drunk and disorderly.

The judge was so shocked when the mailman came to trial, that disbelieving the story, he turned him free with instructions to stay sober and never appear in his court again.

Valerie Cook