The Old Lamp or Thursdays are always dark

 How am I going to get sexy this week?

Thursdays are his only day off, that’s when the antique store is closed. The old crystal lamp hanging in the store window is dark. After doing the bookwork for the week, my husband comes home usually around noon. After lunch we enjoy an afternoon delight. I like to spice up our married life by donning a costume and playing a role. A nurse, a naughty French maid or can-can dancer which I’ve used numerous times. I ponder, what will I do this week?

He enters the quiet house. The drapes are drawn and it was dark as night.

“Sit down, start eating,” said a flirtatious voice from the back room.

He did as told. The music started with the sound of Benny Goodman’s clarinet. While he ate, he heard something slither across the floor. He could just make out his wife in a green shiny, clinging outfit with coils of fabric around her legs and arms.

She slithered up to him and gently put her hand on his throbbing…

The end

or beginning?

By Ellynore Sebold-Smith

*****

Charles had been down to the Old Crock Café for his twice a week dining out. It was Thursday and Bonnie was her usual chatty self. As the keeper of the light house, Charles could only take so much conversation and then his cup runneth over.

This Thursday, the topic was Bonnie’s daughter’s upcoming wedding. She would be wearing a blue wedding dress.’ Why? Someone asked. According to Bonnie everyone knew that Laura had been married three times. Jack was lost at sea; Bennie had gone to prison for twenty years, and Jack number two and Bonnie had called it quits.

Bonnie asked, “Charles what would you say to letting Laura and Billy May get married at the light house.” Charles choked on his piece of apple pie and two people ended up pounding on his back.

He finally said, “I don’t think that . . .” and everyone took that for a yes.

Larry the cook said as everyone was heading out the door, “No way, he’s cleaning that lamp every day, all day or there won’t be any light and besides Thursday’s he’ll be here eating.”

But whatever, it was agreed on by everyone else. When Thursday came around most of the town folks were on their way to the light house by noon.

Charles was absolutely shocked when he saw what they were bringing. There were at least three kegs of beer and a full case of Champagne, a cake, sandwiches of every description, and a tub of chips.

The wedding got started late, the judge got lost on the way to the light house. He didn’t arrive until four in the afternoon. By then half of the men were falling down drunk and the women had gone to the top of the light house and were leaning over the railing serenading all who were sober enough to know what was going on. Two of the women had passed out on Charles’ bed. There were men sleeping in the bushes.

By eight that evening Laura and Billy were put in a taxi and someone paid for the trip to an unknown motel in the neighboring town.

Charles had gone for a walk around three and hadn’t come back until ten. The Old Lamp was dark and Thursday would always be a bright day for Charles.

By Harry Ruggles