The shit was going to hit fan. The Gourmet Chef was having a bad day. First the soup boiled over, next the oven temperatures was too high and the cake burned. It was unfortunate, because he was cooking for a relative’s wedding reception. The party was going to be a huge event, 200 in attendance. Ready to throw in the towel he knew the stress was getting to him. He decided to call on a lady in the neighborhood that had an outstanding reputation for cooking and selling meals. She was a large black lady – as round as she was tall. He called her and she agreed to help out, free of charge. After they threw out all the burned food – she took charge. The chef was surprised later that night – after dinner was over – he found her business card under every plate, complete with her picture.

By Carmel Westerman

****

A gourmet chef overheard the request and stepped forward to ensure the accuracy and propriety of the response.

“The lacerate de la gran muscular must be oblique a la finle cut. Then sizzle le lacunar en la lactates.”

Hector, the new assistant, stood over the grill, spatula in hand, and listened in deep concentration. He turned to Ralph and translated.

“Flip the burger and cook it medium well.”

By Kevin Draper

A Gourmet Chef What Gerald wanted to be when he grew up was not what he ended up doing. At age three, Gerald got a cowboy outfit and pretended to trot around the house on a horse made from a broom handle. That lasted until he was four when he got a plastic replica of a shotgun. Gerald stalked around the backyard hunting big game. The only thing he saw was the neighbor’s black cat, which he proclaimed was the one that got away. At age six, Gerald had a tour of the local fire station with his class. All he could talk about was driving the big fire truck and rescuing folks from burning buildings. When Gerald entered high school he took a science class and wanted to be the first scientists to discover a new clean source of energy. At age 16, he broke his finger playing baseball and went to the hospital. There he told the doctor he wanted to go to college to study medicine. Gerald never did finish college. Instead he got married at age 18 and went to a technical school to become a gourmet chef. He couldn’t find a job as a gourmet chef and ended up flipping hamburgers at McDonald’s.

By Linda Scott